Thursday, January 9, 2020

The Exodus of Lehi (1 Nephi 1-7)

The Exodus of Lehi (1 Nephi 1-7)
First, a note on the edition of the book Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith used in this blog.  Back in 1993, I bought an edition of the book titled Scriptural Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith which took Joseph Fielding Smith’s original version and cross-referenced and footnoted it to the scriptures.  This work was done by Richard Galbraith.  However, the inclusion of footnotes changed the numbering of the book from the original, which makes things particularly difficult for you the reader of this blog, because all of my cites are to the edition that I own.  To help you, I will copy the material into this blog when it is used as the required reading but if it is an additional scripture cited in a “see also”, you’ll be on your own (as in the cite for TPJS 287:2-3 in the second to last question below).  Used versions of this book are available pretty cheaply via Amazon, if you want to own your own.  

Also, when I site material from the book, you’ll see two numbers.  The first is the page number and the second is the paragraph number on the page – so TPJS 205:2 means to look on page 205, at the second paragraph from the top.  
One final note is that LoF stands for Lectures on Faith, another book I would strongly recommend! 

The Throne Theophany
READ 1 Nephi 1:4-5
Where did all of these prophets come from and what was their message?
·       The common people, not the presiding Priests (see Jeremiah 1:6-10), although Ezekiel was from a priestly family – 
·       Message was to repent – from the Priesthood leaders down to the least member - remember that both Jeremiah and Ezekiel preached against the “shepherds of Israel” that fed themselves at the expense of the flock (see Ezekiel 13:2-3, 10, 14)
Was Lehi one of these prophets initially?
·       No – he “begins to prophesy” in v18
·       He is listening to the message of Jeremiah and others and is pricked in the heart to also pray on behalf of his people
What was Lehi praying for?
·       His heart has been softened by the message he’s heard from the prophets so he is praying as an intercessor for his people, the Jews in Jerusalem – including his family and extended family, who were probably also there as Lehi had lived there “all his days”
·       He is filled with charity, the pure love of Christ – like Moroni he is praying for grace and mercy to be extended to his people (see Ether 12:36-37) – “Father forgive them for they know not what they do…”

READ 1 Nephi 1:6-7
Why does Lehi receive the vision he received?
·       Because he believed/reacted positively to the message preached by true prophets (who happened to be outside the traditional church leadership hierarchy – which makes the message harder to hear)
·       And he reacted with charity for others – his first thought was for others (not – “let’s get out of here!”), which tells you where his heart and spirit had progressed to in life
·       He does not receive it because he is in authority in the Church – he is a merchant, not a full time Levite priest
What is the pillar of fire that Lehi sees?
·       An open conduit to heaven
·       Similar to Joseph Smith’s “pillar of light” which descended into the grove and appeared capable of lighting the wood in flame or Moses’ burning bush or John the Revelator’s experience or Joseph’s again with Moroni (see JSH 1:16, 33-42, Exodus 3:2-3, and Revelations 4:1)
What is implied that Lehi “saw and heard much” from the pillar of fire?
·       He was visited by a spiritual personage from across the veil
·       An angel from God’s presence showed him a vision of the destruction of Jerusalem and the secret or hidden wickedness of its people (secret because if it was obvious, Lehi would have already known about it; implied is that the people might have seemed more righteous than they actually were OR that the Lord’s definition of righteous was different than the culture’s or Church’s definition)
How do we know that this messenger was “true”?
·       Satan cannot replicate the glory (see Moses 1:13-15)
·       True messengers come with “fire and the Holy Ghost” – a “burning” presence that can be felt even when it is not seen (see 2 Nephi 31:13-14, 2 Nephi 32:2-3 and Luke 24:32)
·       The message was a true message from God, as evidenced by what happened to Lehi when he followed it
Can Satan come as an angel of light to deceive you?
·       Yes
·       Examples include Moses (see Moses 1:12-22) and Lehi (see 1 Nephi 8:5-9; see also 2 Corinthians 11:14)
How does one tell the difference between God and Satan?
·       God’s glory is unmistakable and Satan cannot copy it because he is not full of light and truth but darkness (see Moses 1:1-2, 9, 13-15)
·       Satan can transform himself to appear like an “angel of light” but he cannot appear in a pillar of light
·       You must experience both personally – then you can tell the difference as Moses did; to see God in the flesh, man must be transformed to allow him to withstand His presence while Satan can be seen by man in the flesh without transformation
What is the significance of the pillar of fire dwelling on a rock?
·       Christ is the “rock of heaven” (see Moses 7:53); the one upon which if you build, you will not fall (see 3 Nephi 14:24-27)
·       Lehi was probably praying at an altar he had built (see 1 Nephi 2:7) – the altar is symbolic of Christ’s sacrifice for sin
·       The Stone of Truth and Judgement or Ma’at from Egyptian lore was known to Lehi (Jerusalem was heavily influenced by Egypt and the plates were written in “reformed Egyptian”, see also Abraham Facsimile 2, figure 4 between the boat and falcon – the falcon is perched on it)
·       The Stone of Ma’at is a conveyor of light to men in holy places (see Hugh Nibley, The Message of the Joseph Smith Papyri, p 122)
·       The appearance of the light on the rock authenticated to Lehi that light and truth were coming from a divine source and could be trusted and accepted; it followed a pattern he would have recognized as being from God
What is the effect of spiritual experiences from God on the physical body?
·       They take a physical toll because they are real – both the physical affects and the mental anguish, in this case (see Moses 1:9-11 and Daniel 10:8-17) and involve glory, which exhausts the fallen, mortal body – particularly when the individual has not experienced it before (i.e. Joseph Smith was “strong as a lion” after receiving the vision found in D&C 76 while Sidney Rigdon was “weak as water” – see Encyclopedia of Latter-day Saint History by Arnold Garr, p 81)

READ 1 Nephi 1:8-10
What does Lehi see in Heaven?
·       A Ceremony of Praise to God, taking place in the Throne Room of Heaven – the Center Place where God the Father and Heavenly Mother dwell in glory
·       It is an actual world, albeit one constructed of refined elements of light/glory!
What are the words of the song the angels were singing in the ceremony?
·       See v14 – “Great and marvelous are thy works… thy power, goodness and mercy are over all inhabitants of the Earth…won’t suffer those who come unto thee to perish”
Who ministers to Lehi in this vision?
·       Christ (v9, 11)
·       Apostles (v10); true messengers or “helpers” (as Fools Crow refers to the Archangels who stand at the four corners of the earth, see Fools Crow: Wisdom and Power by Thomas Mails)
What must Lehi have, to see the face of God and live?
·       The highest form of Priesthood – the Priesthood After the Order of the Son of God (see D&C 84:19-22)

READ TPJS 205:2
“Answer to the question, Was the Priesthood of Melchizedek taken away when Moses died? All Priesthood is Melchizedek,4 but there are different portions or degrees of it. That portion which brought Moses to speak with God face to face was taken away;5 but that which brought the ministry of angels1 remained. All the prophets had the Melchizedek Priesthood and were ordained by God himself.”2
How does one get this priesthood?
·       From God Himself (see also Genesis 14:27-31 JST)
What does this imply about what Lehi received from the experience with the Pillar of Fire on the rock?
·       He was ministered to by Christ and given this priesthood, allowing him to see the face of the Father and live

Read 1 Nephi 1:11-15
What does Christ share with Lehi in His second ministration?
·       A book of scripture
·       In the book is contained the history of Israel – including the abominations happening in Jerusalem at that time that would lead to the destruction by Babylon
·       Also many great things in the course of that history that would cause Lehi to be filled with the Spirit of the Lord – including the birth and ministry of Christ and redemption of the world (see v19)
What does this vision confirm to us about Christ and His apostles?
·       That they existed as entities/beings before their mortality on earth; it confirms the belief in pre-mortal existence
·       That they each had a role to play on earth, based on who they had become previous to their births on this earth
What does this vision task Lehi with doing?
·       He has gained heavenly knowledge regarding the destruction of his people unless they repent
·       He must warn them, as he loves them (see v5)
·       He must warn them because he is also commanded by God to do so (see 2 Nephi 2:1) – this is usually the “downside” of receiving great spiritual manifestations and being co-opted into the Lord’s ministry, you are commanded by Him to share His words with others who will likely not receive them and turn violent against you in the process!  These spiritual experiences are not “too sacred to share” – but are in fact commanded to be shared by God!

READ 1 Nephi 1:18-20
How do the Jews react to Lehi’s preaching?
·       They mock him for telling them that they’ll be destroyed (although the Northern Kingdom had been destroyed only a generation or two before)
·       They are angry at him for preaching about the coming of the Messiah and the redemption of the world (perhaps thinking that only they would be redeemed, not the Gentiles?)
·       They do not believe that they have a need to repent; either they are explicit liars or self-deceived 
·       They threaten and try to kill Lehi


The Exodus of Lehi

READ 1 Nephi 2:1-4
What does Lehi do when the Jews try to kill him?
·       He doesn’t run away or flee - he stands his ground!  But he doesn’t appear to fight back either
·       He goes home when the confrontation is over
·       The Lord comes to him in a dream and commands him to leave, but he does not leave until then
Why does Lehi not take his “precious things”?
·       His heart is not bound to them – they may be “valuable” things but they are not really “precious” things to him
·       He has no need of them where he is going – except for one precious thing that he does not own but is concerned about not having… the scriptures

READ 1 Nephi 2:11-14
What are Laman’s issues with Lehi?
·       He took them away from their life of luxury
·       They are going to die in the wilderness
·       He is a “visionary man” or in other words, he’s crazy – he thinks Lehi has not experienced the “visions” he says he has but has imagined them – he is delusional
Why do Laman and Lemuel feel the same way the Jews do about Lehi?
·       They “knew not the dealings of that God who had created them”
·       This does not mean that they didn’t know the stories of God’s dealings with Israel – they had been taught all of that
·       They had not put themselves into a situation where God would or could reveal Himself to them (except unto damnation and destruction) – it was all hearsay to them (see 1 Nephi 15:7-11)
How did Lehi convince them that he was not crazy but had experienced spiritual manifestations?
·       He spoke to them with power, being filled with the Spirit, until their bodies shook or trembled before him
·       He confounded them – amazed, perplexed or bewildered them

READ 1 Nephi 2:16
Did Nephi share the family’s doubts about Lehi’s visions?
·       Yes
·       Otherwise why did he “cry” unto the Lord and why was his heart softened to believe his father
Why did Nephi not rebel against his father like his brothers had done?
·       He desperately wanted to know the truth – he “desired to believe” (see Alma 32:27)
·       He desperately wanted to connect with God himself!  (i.e. know the mysteries of God)
·       So, as a result of his desire, spiritual labor, and faith, God softened his heart
·       Now he knew for himself through the Spirit that it was true

This verse shows how the path to the Fullness of the Gospel begins.  Nephi has a “great desire” to know God.  He acts on that desire by “crying” or begging the Lord to help him believe on the things being taught to him by one claiming to know God.  In response to that prayer, the Lord “visits” him.

What did this first “visit” from the Lord consist of?
·       The Lord softens Nephi’s heart so that he can believe Lehi’s words, where before he had doubt
·       The Lord casts the “unbelief” from Nephi’s mind
·       There is no parting of the veil
·       This experience is what Alma describes as the “seed of faith” “swelling” within you (see Alma 32:28)

As I’ve heard it described and have personally experienced, these first connections across the veil have the consistency of gossamer – they are easy to miss or attribute to something else, but if believed and acted on, lead eventually to the “most glorious discoveries and eternal certainty.” (LoF 2:56)

READ 1 Nephi 2:17-24
How does Nephi “act” on his “belief”?
·       He bears testimony to his older brother Sam
·       He bears testimony to Laman and Lemuel
What would have happened if Nephi had not acted on his new found belief?
·       His faith would have remained dormant – he would not have attained faith – action activates faith or causes it to grow
If Nephi’s first trial of faith is his doubt in the face of his father’s claims; what is his second triall of faith?
·       Laman and Lemuel’s rejection of his new testimony to them
How does Nephi react to this second trial?
·       He prays for Laman and Lemuel – intercedes on their behalf with the Lord (v 18)
·       He returns grace and charity for rejection
·       He shows himself faithful in the face of adversity; he fears God more than man
·       He is seeking to be a “savior on Mount Zion” to his brothers

He passes the second test and can now be trusted with more.  When we read the story of Nephi’s life, he is teaching us how the Gospel works as a journey of faith – he is showing us the path he walked to become what he became, so that we can do the same thing.  

How does the Lord reward Nephi for passing this second test?
·       He “speaks” to him
·       He is receiving the Lord’s words directly now – not just a feeling
·       He is engaging in a dialogue with God
·       Although it was not necessarily audible to others but rather comes to the mind of the person hearing Him – yet God can and does speak, when you are willing to hear Him

It is interesting to note that Nephi cared enough about what the Lord said to him that he seems to have written it down word-for-word and kept it 40 years until he wrote these Small Plates; how else could he have remembered these direct quotes from so many years prior?

Why was Nephi prepared to receive God’s voice, or even be open to having his heart softened in the first place?
·       His desires
·       His keeping of God’s commandments up to that point (or at least attempts to keep them, see “desire” above) – “cleaning living in difficult circumstances” – he is resonating to God’s frequency to some degree already
Does Nephi have his prayer answered?
·       Yes – he receives an answer (although not the one he wants) and more (information about his role in the family as a teacher and a prophesy about his descendants)


The Brass Plates

READ 1 Nephi 3:1-5
Why did Laman and Lemuel murmur at the request to go back to Jerusalem to get the plates?
·       It is difficult or dangerous as Laban has standing, wealth, and a personal army of 50 men at his command
·       It is difficult physically; a hard 3-day journey through the desert
·       They don’t believe Lehi got a revelation – perhaps he had a dream but it was not a revelation!  He’s crazy
Why does God use dreams to communicate with mankind?
·       Dreams are the will o’ the wisp so insubstantial that our sophisticated society dismisses them without thought – it is an act of faith to believe they are a real revelation from God (see also Numbers 12:6 and Job 33:12-15)
·       As we all dream, it is easier to have enough faith to receive a dream than to receive a waking vision or visitation
·       It is a test; do not expect God to physically appear to anyone who has insufficient faith to accept His messages in dreams
Why does the Lord require them to go back to retrieve the scriptures – as Lehi has already stood in the presence of God and can dictate his own scripture?
·       No prophet sees all things – they do not have the capacity to do so and stay on the Earth (see Moses 1:5); the Brass Plates contain some light and knowledge that Lehi has not yet received from God
·       Lehi would need to engrave what he knows on metal plates to preserve them for posterity – and that has already been done with the Brass Plates
·       The law of witnesses is in effect – God makes His will known to more than one person so that their testimonies will support each other.  All the testimonies of true prophets are aligned with each other to some degree because they have made similar sacrifices and seen the same visions from God and are filled with the same Spirit; this is part of why “living prophets” aren’t “more important than dead prophets” or “more vital than the standard works” (see Benson’s “14 Fundamentals in Following the Prophet” Feb 25, 1980) – their messages should dovetail and expand upon each other; having said that, with truth being infinite, it is very possible that not all prophets have seen or know the same truths, so it is possible that there may SEEM to be conflict between the messages, but if you had the complete knowledge of God, you would see the connections and perfect alignment
·       Without God’s word and the testimonies of the prophets to their truth (having stood in His presence), the descendants of Lehi will dwindle in unbelief (they will reject truth and instead believe things that are not true and by so doing, lose light – see 1 Nephi 3:20, 2 Nephi 1:10 and Alma 12:10-11)

READ 1 Nephi 3:6-7
Having just spoken to Nephi, what is the Lord doing now?
·       His next trial of faith has arrived!
·       And this time it is physical – he must take his spiritual lessons and apply them in the physical world
·       If you are not willing to transform spiritual experiences and insights into physical realities by your faith, then the veil will remain in place.  You rend the veil by your faith – He stands at the door and knocks but we must open the door or veil.
How does Nephi react to the request?
·       He does not question, reject, murmur or even hesitate but immediately accepts the mission
·       He knows this request is from God, not a crazy dream of his father (as he’s just heard God’s voice in his head and is beginning to really be able to discern through the Spirit when God is speaking vs when man is using God’s name in vain - pretending to speak on God’s behalf) – so he treats it as a commandment from God, not his father Lehi
·       He is eager to do the things God asks him to do
What is the difference between having faith that God will not require anything of you that He will not help you accomplish vs. believing that God will not ask anything of you that you cannot do?
·       You may not be able to do what God commands you to do – it may truly be beyond your current capabilities to accomplish
·       But believing that He will directly assist you to accomplish His commands puts your faith in God not the arm of the flesh
·       You then actively exercise faith by going forth to do what was required (but which you perhaps cannot do), having received a promise of help from God 
·       The lesson to learn is this: how we perceive our challenges determines how we meet them.  They are mere illusions, there to test your faith.  Trials are opportunities to see God actively participating in your life!  Nephi believed that God will give him a challenge and then walk beside him to see that he succeeds, even if it is only in the “fourth watch” or at the last minute!
What does it mean that the Lord won’t give you a commandment that you can’t keep and what is implied?
·       He has told us to “be perfect” as He and His Father are perfect (see 3 Nephi 12:48), and if we are not, we cannot be saved (see LoF 7:9, 15-16)
·       For this to be fair, He has promised us that we will not be tempted beyond that which we are able to resist (see 1 Corinthians 10:13) and that any commandment He gives us, He will enable us to accomplish or fulfill it
·       Implied is that we can be confident or have faith in the idea that any commandment of which we are personally aware is within our capacity to fully obey!  This is a profound truth that ought to lead to significant changes in our lives!
·       As you grown in ability, God will reveal more and different commandments to you; as you are obedient to them, you will gain the light that is given to those who abide by those laws
·       To be perfect in Christ is to maintain obedience to all commandments that you know – not to all commandments that Christ knew of (see Moroni 10:32-33) or someone with more light than you knows of and lives by
·       The standard commandments in the scriptures are the starting point; read them prayerfully and identify each commandment that you are currently disobeying; then repent and fulfill those commandments
·       God will give you individual commandments; they can be either one time instructions or life-altering changes; they can be ordinary or difficult – unique or universal; it is of the utmost importance to keep any commandment God gives you, including what is contained in scripture
·       If you continue faithful, God will reveal more and more to you; God will increase the difficulty of each commandment to correspond to your increasing spiritual strength
·       As you are able to bear them (through sanctification or the strengthening of your spiritual capabilities), He will eventually reveal to you all the laws that you must live by to be comfortable in His presence (the Celestial Eternal Law)
·       Because God has promised that He will never give you a commandment that you do not have the capacity to obey, you can know that the only reason for your disobedience is a lack of desire (see 2 Nephi 2:27-28; Alma 40:11-14; JST Matthew 16:26; Alma 5:41; John 14:15-23; Alma 24:19; JST Mark 8:37) and the only reason for your failure is a lack of faith

READ 1 Nephi 3:9-13
Why did they cast lots to see who would go to see Laban?
·       As the firstborn, it should have been Laman’s responsibility anyway…
·       Using lots was a custom at the time for deciding God’s will
·       So God chose Laman to fulfill his responsibility to get the plates from Laban, enabling him to have the promise that with faith, nothing is impossible (see Matthew 17:20 and Luke 1:37)
Why did it not work according to plan?
·       Laman did not exercise faith
·       He is accused of robbery – so perhaps he was a bit heavy handed?

READ 1 Nephi 3:14-16
How does Nephi react to this setback?
·       He realizes it for what it is: another trial of his faith
·       He chooses to believe that God has not abandoned them or forgotten His promises to them 
·       He chooses to exercise faith in the face of failure – he realizes that faithlessness does not change God’s promises, it only limits you
·       He comes up with another idea – as God wants this task accomplished, Nephi will spare no thought or creative alternative or effort to find a way to finish the assignment
What does the vow “as the Lord liveth” mean?
·       As long as God lives, He will keep His promises
·       Implied is that God has promised to assist Nephi in this endeavor
·       He has faith in God despite the setbacks because God is not dead and has power to do all things He promises to do

READ 1 Nephi 3:25
What happened when Laban saw all of Lehi’s wealth?
·       He wanted it – he lusted over it
·       He saw that four young men were all that was standing in his way from getting it
·       He robbed them by calling his guards on Nephi and his brothers and chasing them away

READ 1 Nephi 3:28-30
Has God been with them throughout their task?
·       Yes
·       It was not by coincidence that the angel appeared – they were being watched closely by those on the other side of the veil
Why did He not make Himself known before this?
·       So that Nephi and his brothers could grow through the exercise of their faith
Why did the Lord send His angel at this moment?
·       To stop Nephi’s untimely death
·       To call Laman and Lemuel to repentance
·       To teach them that Nephi has been chosen over them, due to their own choices/actions; they’ve lost the birthright

READ 1 Nephi 3:31-4:1
Why does the appearance of an angel from God produce no faith in Laman and Lemuel?
·       Because signs do not produce faith but follow those who believe (see D&C 63:9)
·       They see the problem purely as a physical one and not a spiritual one – they chose not to bring spiritual faith into the physical world – they see only “Goliath” or in this case, Laban and his 50 men!

READ 1 Nephi 4:5-6
How does Nephi see things at this point?
·       He sees the angel’s visit as a reaffirmation of his beliefs 
·       Everything that has come before is validated – the “gossamer” sense of the Spirit is more tangible and concrete 
·       His faith is strengthened even more

“Growing in faith requires persistence in the face of apparent imminent failure.  It requires you to look at the trial as God’s problem, not yours!  Your problem is to continue in faith and obedience to God’s commandments, as there are laws ordained upon which all blessings are predicated (see D&C 130:20-21).”

STORY: “You watch, late at night, as a well-dressed man stumbles out of a seedy bar late at night. You watch as he wobbles his way into the alleyway to the side of the bar, lurch against the wall, and collapse in an apparent stupor. You hear snoring. A short while later, you watch as a muscular youth comes up through the alleyway to the passed-out drunk. You watch as the youth draws a pearl-handled, silver revolver from the drunkard’s waistband. You see him hold it up to the moon’s light, and draw a finger over the handle. After about 30 seconds, you watch in horror as the youth puts the gun to the drunkard’s head, and pulls the trigger, blowing his brains out onto the pavement.”
Did you witness a murder?
·       No, as his intent was good…
·       He was commanded by God (albeit unseen to you) to do it
How would you know?
·       You wouldn’t

READ 1 Nephi 4:5-18
Why does Nephi struggle with the prompting he receives to kill Laban?
·       He had never killed anyone before
·       Perhaps because Laban was defenseless
·       It is not because he doubts the impression is from God – recall he has just seen an angel who has protected him from death
Why is Laban’s death just?
·       Because Laban (unjustly) accused Laman of robbery, and then tried to carry out the penalty, which was death, under the Law of Moses
·       But Laban ACTUALLY robbed Nephi of all of Lehi’s considerable wealth, so the penalty of death, which Laban attempted to mete out, is justly applied to Laban – with that measure that you judge others, are you judged!
What is virtue?
·       Moral goodness or the conformity of life to the moral law; moral excellence; strength; valor
What is righteousness?
·       Accordant to the divine law or commandment; that which is holy, just or justified before God
Does God ever command something that is not virtuous?
·       Yes…
·       Asking Nephi to Laban was not virtuous
·       Asking Abraham to sacrifice Isaac was not virtuous
·       Killing the first born of all Egyptians was not virtuous
·       Killing the 400 priests of Baal was not virtuous
·       Asking men to allow Joseph Smith to marry their wives was not virtuous
What does that imply about a person who is virtuous above all else?
·       They are putting human moral law above divine law or commandment
·       They do not have enough faith to obtain revelation directly from God; fear of a faulty communication channel means that they fall back on what they “know” to be right either from a) their interpretation of scripture, or b) commonly held principles of their society of what is morally good, or c) the words of an infallible mortal religious authority figure
What does that imply about a person who is righteous above all else?
·       They have a direct connection with heaven such that they receive direct and undisputable (to them) revelation from God 
·       They will sometimes be hated by the “good” people of the world because they will keep God’s commandments even if they are contrary to “moral law” or societal standards of “goodness,” as whatever God requires is right (see TPJS 287:2-3) because His ways are not our ways (see Isaiah 55:8-9), He loves for us our ultimate welfare is His goal (see Moses 1:39), and His omniscience can be trusted, even if we do not understand it now (see 2 Nephi 9:20)
Why was it important that Nephi and not Laman obtained possession of the Brass Plates?
·       Nephi had a legal right to take the plates after Lehi’s death
·       If the family property had bought the plates, they would have been the joint property of all the family members

“Knowing what will please God is not difficult but mustering the will to do so is where the difficulty arises.  If you know God’s will, you must do it. The physical world is altering because of Nephi’s faith in obedience to God’s personal commandments to him.”  


Hiatus

Due to some recent work and life changes, I'm taking a hiatus from the weekly blog.  I will leave the blog up for anyone who would like ...